I Have A Foolish Heart

this is something straight from the pages of my personal diary

"...Infatuation, attraction, feelings.. why do they even exist? Humans could function so much better without them. Intellect would've gotten priority and appearance wouldn't have existed. World could have been spared so much drama...."

" .. isn’t that what I wanted? For him to hate me so that I could get over him? I AM pretty much over him.. but there is still that dull ache in my heart whenever  I see him or think of him… if only he and his world could vanish somewhere far away from mine, I could’ve been then able to convince myself into believing that perhaps he was a figment of my imagination, he didn’t really exist.  Except that it’s not so easy..  our worlds do coincide sometimes, it’s inevitable to stumble by into each other now and then..and on such occasions it is hard to keep the heartbeat from rising, to act cool and pretend that he doesn’t exist... "

".. Oh damn you stupid heart! Don’t you know, you little innocent, naïve thing? It will lead you nowhere but into a sea of hurt, sadness, disappointment, pain and it would ache so sweetly and sadly that you won’t want to come    of it, even if it cuts you apart. That’s just the thing about love."

Okay For Now

my goodreads review

Okay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

so honest, so funny and so heartbreaking.

Terrific.

This book deserves to be placed right next to the copy of 'the catcher in the rye' on my shelf. it is so good.


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what i felt while reading this book:
It is about a fourteen year old American well it doesn’t really matter. He is a boy whose fathers works in paper mills, is short tempered and quick with his hands. This boy gets beat by his brothers and his mothers gets bullied by his father. He moves to a new place called Marysville. The narrative is so honest, funny and heartbreaking. You feel some of Doug’s struggle rubbing off on you. A teenage boy trying to do what he wants, trying to steal moments in pictures and errands despite all the bad, crappy things he has to go through. It is not inspirational but how can it fail to inspire? It did give me a push. About the fact that I’m not the only one who’s got life on the rough side. Good things CAN filter though all the obstacles and shine on you. If you just let it.

The Fine Art of Truth or Dare

The Fine Art of Truth or Dare by Melissa Jensen
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"Pleasures are fears, conquered."

"You don’t forget the mean stuff, even when the mean stuff ends."

"Dangerous. Absolutely. But as far as bravery and joy went, it was pretty amazing."

"We keep the walls between us as we go (Robert Frost, mending walls)"

"I'll take dead over dumb."

" 'Is everything about the money?' 'I rather think so. And passion, occasionally.' "

"We are young. Heartache to heartache we stand."

"Ah, darling ella, the artists muse is Ego. Nothing more."

"Love is one of the two things worth dying for. i have yet to decide on the second."

"Who he fears to suffer, he already suffers what he fears."

"Sometimes no matter how many eyelashes or dandelion seeds you blow, no matter how much of your heart you tear out and slap on your sleeve, it just ain't gonna happen."

"Tomorrow comes, tomorrow brings. tomorrow brings love, in the shape of things."

and the mind blowing opening line of the novel

"Truth: People who rely on the first sight are lazy or deluded."

what else can i say.. it was amazing! i sighed a lot while reading this. and of course i sighed when it ended too.


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Parallel Paths

I had written this a few months back but i forgot to post it...

"We started out the same spot, same way, same direction. We had some great destinations in our mind. We trudged along, we flew, we ran. we didn’t realize when the paths became two from one. But that was nothing right? We were still on parallel paths, we could see each other and wave and all.What went wrong? you ended up in a different world and me, my path led me to wilderness where every path is lost. at instances when i worked my way out to a straight road, our ways did cross… you were having completely different experiences. and i was hopping on from one kind of emptiness to another….."

So from now on..

..

sometimes i wish i didn''t exist

why and how it happens that even after having a normal day with friends and family one can feel so desolate, empty and hollow as fuck when ones goes to bed at night and a string of sleepless nightmares begins?

everything, everything that was supposed to be kept at bay, resurfaces back breaking all guards and shields, every bitch ass bad memory, every fucking insecurity, every motherfucker who did you wrong.... why should it swim inside the head making you feel so helpless and weak when all you want is blissful sleep and look back on life as a blessing?

WHY

Thriller month

March indeed was one. i read two amazing thrillers, i completed watching Sherlock series, and i was absolutely thrilled when i did river rafting in Ganga. i met amazing people on that trip. speaking of thrills and chills, exchanging ghost stories in the middle of the night and cliff jumping couldn't be left out either. so, all in all, march brought me great experiences.

SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
it was, without a doubt, the best psychological thriller i have ever read. it has a strong female character, a dangerous psycho villain, even more dangerous - psycho criminal psychiatrist who himself is a criminal, an asshole official bottleneck who thinks he is very smart, a diligent experienced officer who believes in our heroine no matter what.... and a nail biting, mind rattling plot. what else can one ask for in a thriller!!

krishnamoorthy.com

tip: i read this playing florence and the machine's 'Halo' in the background. it gave me the 'feel'. ;)

my goodreads review:


The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

it scared me. Scared me enough to back to reading 4-5 chick-lit titles before i pick up any other crime thriller again.
Dr Hannibal Lecter is one of the most fascinating character i've ever read. Clarice Starling - brave and inspirational in a way. one can look up to her not to sweat in a tight situation, to retain possession and control of faculties and use them best.
it was really really good.


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THE SECRET HISTORY 

chucksmiscellany.blogspot.com

i don't know if i can put this into the genre of 'thriller' but it did give me chills. sometimes. otherwise its a casually written horror story.if we exclude the greek rituals, blackmail, murder, drugs, incest, mystery etc it's quite a nice campus novel :)

SHERLOCK

ah, where do i even begin!! i was excited and hooked since the very beginning to the very end. the same gripping magic and charm of sherlock holmes and his ingenious methods, lestrades confusion, watson's friendship and loyalty, mrs hudson's care, the setting/backdrop of London and mind boggling mysteries/crimes followed by the superb adventure that unfolds in the wake of danger and risk. all in the new mix of modern world! what an awesome thrilling experience. i can't wait for season 3!!

RIVER RAFTING EXPERIENCE
16 km of river rafting in Ganga river in rishikesh.An  Amazing experience with amazing friends. i'll post the pics soon :) the thrill and excitement of floating in the gigantic river when i don't even know how to swim, and shivering like a madman afterwards: unforgettable.